Scared to be Lonely: Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

Friday September 21, 2018                    By: Ingy El Naggar


If life was a movie everything would perfectly go according to plan. We would go to school, get the degree we want, the job of our dreams and have loyal friends that put the F.R.I.E.N.D.S squad to shame. We would meet the perfect guy whom we love, and who loves us back, just asfaithfully and unconditionally, and we would live happily ever after. But unfortunately, life is not a movie. In life, we make mistakes.We fall in love with those who don’t deserve our love. We corner ourselves into toxic relationships that break our confidence to pieces. And instead of breaking free, we adapt to the pain. And even worse, at some point we actually think we deserve it.

But what is a toxic relationship? Is it only one with physical abuse? Constant criticism? Disloyalty? And then comes of course, the million dollar question. Why do we stay?

Love is a powerful two-edged blade, it can either revive us or wreck us, but either way, it’s addictive. There are a lot of reasons we struggle to sober up from love when it’s with the wrong person. The main reason we stay is our fear of being alone. Loneliness is perhaps the most ruthless feeling. When we’re alone and we’re left to your thoughts. We suddenly start thinking about everything that’s wrong with our lives, and we feel down. And next thing we know is we’re making the worst mistake of our life; letting someone in it just to avoid being alone.

It is no surprise that in Egypt, marriage is every girl’s life aspiration. Long gone are the days when girls flaunted their academic achievements and thriving careers. Today, girls live to flaunt their diamond rings, the bigger the better. They look for spouses to ensure their financial stability, only to realize after marriage that the strangers, who are now their husbands, are not the men of their dreams, but rather the monsters in their nightmares. Unfortunately, in such cases the girls find themselves completely dependent on their husbands to the point where they can’t survive on their own, especially if there are kids involved. And agony starts from there. Because in their troubled minds, they think it is better for them and their kids to endure the abuse, be it physical or emotional, instead of taking the risk of breaking free. They honestly believe that kids of married couples have less psychological problems than of divorced couples, even though their own kids probably cry themselves to sleep every night.

There are always signs, either bruises on our bodies or in our hearts. But one thing for sure, it is never too late to leave. And even though it’s hard to break away from the things we know and have grown to love, we don’t deserve such pain. Our loved ones should never be our tormentors. If we let them be, then we have to know that our real enemy here, sadly, is ourselves, because even though we didn’t deserve the pain,we chose to stay.

40481595_2197614320456801_8863545724109848576_n.jpgIngy El Naggar is a 19-year-old dentistry student, with a fierce passion for writing and reading . She dreams of a better Egypt in which everyone is safe and cared for. She aspires to contribute to that, if just by her words .

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  1. Youu sound like a strong girl.
    Like your story. Very good. You are right. Donot stay special if their are kids. They feel and see the daily fighting/surviving.
    Wrong way to grow up in the violence
    Their are Friends and family.
    The best is too take care with love for kid (s) without figthing. Best for them and. I hope y met your love. Anna


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