— By: Nevin Elgendy
Saturday October 1, 2016
I swapped perfection and became myself by adopting the color “pink” instead of hanging on to the perfect “orange”!
One summer day, not too long ago, I approached a talented life coach, who is also a friend, and invited her to collaborate with me on a project. We both got excited and within a very short time, we started planning our workshop together, breaking down the tasks that needed to be done. My friend was responsible for writing the program and working on the material to market it. I was responsible for the rest. As we proceeded with the plans, my friend became less responsive to my emails and when I brought it to her attention; she asked if I had read the “Stella Orange” program, which explains how to write a coaching program. I hadn’t, but suggested to go ahead and use it for our project, if the program met our needs.
Days went by and I received no feedback from her. I contacted her few times, still with no response, so I decided to move on – on my own. I was happy to use my amateurish and imperfect “Nevin Pink” style rather than wait for my friend to write up the plan using the writing style of Stella Orange, the expert. I took the plunge and decided that I will learn as I go! Today, I have a successful practice that stretches in four continents and which has enabled me to see the world and visit places I never thought I’d visit!
Time passed, and I met my dear friend – whom I truly believe is a gifted coach – in a class where I taught life coaches a workshop on how to host one’s own Vision Board and use it as an access tool to clients. After the class we talked together.
My dear friend admitted that she never came back to me because she felt stuck, a testament of how easy we lose our focus if we stay in our heads for too long. “I was afraid of failure, that’s why I was looking for perfection.” She explained. But very often nothing happens while waiting to reach perfection; other then we miss on beautiful opportunities.
Author Elizabeth Gilbert explains in her new book, Big Magic, how and why that happens. She brilliantly busted perfection by stating that, “Perfection is haute couture fear. Yes Fear!” The first step to get “unstuck” is to understand that your desire for perfection is nothing but unnecessary fear. The more you strive for perfection, the more you stay stuck in your place, and you do nothing about it because it is not yet perfect. This results in more frustration and loss of faith in yourself.
We look for perfection because we are afraid of failure. That SIMPLE!! Jessica Herrin, founder and CEO of Stella & Dot, socially based boutique jewelry, explains how to overcome this fear, “You have to be your source of greatest belief and strength. Embrace fear and failure. It is the only way extraordinary made real.” The more we believe that an act or a job is not perfect, but has to be perfect, the more we become disengaged or fail to show up. As a result, nothing happens and we reinforce the original thought: failure! The real failure is the failure to show up! Use your GPS, your body compass to make your decisions with ease and faith. Move on; know that perfection is perfecting actions. Act and make your next act better; that is perfection. Success has many different starts!
Great experience to be inspired.
Thank you Sabahat, your story is an inspiration.
Thank you, Nevis, for this helpful article that arrived at the “perfect” time for me!💛
you are not welcomed Catherine, so glad it helped.
Thank you Dina
Very useful analysis…love the article…
Thank you Hoda
Thank you Nevin, perfect timing for such article, my daughter is facing a fear problem.💚