October 14, 2021
By| Miss Blue Muse

Dear future husband, I am a feminist.

I know these four words may be scaring you right now, after all most Egyptians perceive feminists as man eating females waiting to enslave and pry off their partners. But trust me when I tell you, in every group and community there’s the good and the bad. The toxic and the moderate. The extreme and the peaceful. And in reality, feminism isn’t about me prying off your flesh or tearing you apart with insults…

When I say I’m feminist, it means that I want us to be a team. I want to trust you and have you trust me equally. When both of us come back home exhausted from work, I do the cooking, you do the dishes.

When it’s Friday, and we have to clean, I want you to take the bedroom and I take the living room.

When your boss yells at you at work, you come and vent to me. And when my boss yells at me in work, I would come to vent to you.

When you look at me, you don’t see my wrinkles, the hair on my face and body from being too tired to shave or the dark spots or the overweight. But rather, I see in your eyes the love for the woman you married and loved for her confidence and courage, as I will thank God every day for sending me a kind, brave man to take care of me…

When I succeed or get a promotion or a raise, I want you to be the first to cheer me on and brag about my achievements to your friends and family even if it means getting more money or higher status than you; As I will do.

When we argue, you never say the words “I am the man of the house, and you’ll listen to me”, asking me to submit to sexism will break our bond and break my heart with it. Instead, give yourself the space to calm and my space to calm as well, before we hug and forgive each other.

I want us to raise our girl to be confident and raise our boy to clean his own plate. To teach our girl to do sports and ride bikes. To teach our boy to be honest and kind. To teach them both to give the best they can give… To be the best they could be, regardless of what people tell them to be…

Being a feminist isn’t about breaking your ego or breaking your will, unless you’re short minded expecting of me to be nothing more or less than a house help. 

Being a feminist is about you seeing me as an equal, about making us… Together a team. Fighting shoulder to shoulder. Standing both with high chins striving forward like warriors against all odds to bond, excel and care…

And I know… I know the world will challenge us. People will judge us, as they always do. But together.. with each other, as companions, partners, equals, a team.. we can beat anything.

Sincerely,

Your future wife

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