Thursday November 7, 2019 By: Riham Abu Elinin
When leaders relate their personal philosophies about their own road to success, it is often a compelling story filled with lumps of wisdom. Most of us find something we relate to as well. We all still prefer those simple beacons directing us to clear messages about life and leadership.
This collection of leadership rules is simple too, but in a different way. It brings together over twenty years of enlightened observations from people I knew, good and tough experiences I have been through from both men and women. When I express these lesson in different occasions or talks and I repeatedly see nods of recognition of a familiar principle, or a life lesson, this is where I recognise a tenet of truth. I witness their stares back at me, lost in the absorption of just “how true that is”.
I chose to take those pieces and assemble them into something that women in life and leadership position could utilize. I wanted the collection to have a feminine side. You might say I am rooting for the underdog. As I tailored those lessons to my fellow women and called them “The Skirt Strategies”. So, here you go:
SS1: Identify what feminine integrity looks like and live toward leading with it.
So often we ask ourselves. “What do I want to do for living?”Instead, ask yourself who you want to be in this world. The answer to this question is much more inspiring and is the beginning of your journey to feminine integrity. Who do I want to be?
SS2: Avoid gossip. It looks immensely unprofessional.
I hate to say it ladies, but we are often labeled as gossipers. That goes hand in hand with passing along hearsay. Speculating interpersonal clashes. We love the drama and attention which I assure you it is very sexy and entertaining BUT trust me it comes at a cost. Here is a way to handle some of the gossips and meaningless side talks and situations; if you did not see it, it is a hearsay. DO NOT REPEAT IT. If you did see it, that does not give you cause to become the source of its circulation. Think about that..
SS3: Don’t beat yourself up over something you did. Look forward instead.Many of us lie awake at night, replaying our own bloopers show. Been there. Instead visualize those thought swirling sown a toilet BYE BYE. I screwed so what! I make mistakes, I learn and move forward!
SS4: Say “hello” first to others in passing.
Based on our culture and the way we are raised it might look awkward hence trust me it was like a miracle when I started doing this. It raised my self confidence, it positioned my self esteem and respect for people looking at me. And had an outstanding outcome.
SS5: Always accept a compliment graciously. Never be Shy;)
SS6: Laugh at yourself when you screw up. Humor is an anti-depressant.
SS7: Never Ever take any message as gospel until you have heard it from the source.
Messed up messages are common, frequently unintentional, and dangerous. Stay away from gossip too.
SS8: Shake hands firmly, make eye contact, introduce yourself by your name” it is not secret!” but send a soft message with your eyes. Project a warm, welcoming image.
The days of the shrinking violet are over!. No one likes a limp handshake. It makes you feel dirty, as if you just touched a wet fish.
SS9: Be open to new ideas, topics, discussions, pull yourself away from your comfort zone and face your fears, at last you may agree that you disagree.
SS10: Pick your fights. Do not equate silence with weakness.
SS11: Resist making decision when you are upset, angry or emotionally unstable.
Remember, as a woman you may be more hard wired for emotions and it can affect your clarity. Brain differences in men and woman have been proven. It is okay to be different, and know what? It is okay to be emotional. Just don’t let it get the best of you.
When you do sense the emotion creeping up. The best approach is to call upon your self-management by taking a moment. Centering yourself, then make the best decision while keeping your goals in mind
SS12: Measure people by the size of their hearts, not by their position or authority.The value of a woman in life is her ability to bring compassion. Treat everyone with respect. You never know how it will be returned, but the law of circulation guarantees it.
SS13: Never pass the opportunity to give a man a compliment.
Although this may sound like a shallow suggestion, it is actually a tactic for bringing a woman’s leadership strength of building relayionships.
We might hesitate to compliment a man at work because our culture and training tells us that it does nit belong there. Too motherly or not professional. But think about it. It opens up the communication culture to being about performance and assets that are worth noting.
SS14: Surround yourself with smart men and women.
We become easily influenced by the company we keep. Look at the five people who are close to you. Do they bring about better results in you? Do you learn from them?
SS15: This is a hard one for me too but I have to admit it. Keep yourself in shape. You will be more productive.
SS16: Tough one too but yes. DO NOT WHINE EVER
Often there is something constructive in the middle of moaning. So too bad it is lost in the complaining.
SS17: Never end a relationship by burning a bridge.
This one is for me too
SS18: When someone is angry. Let him vent.
The technique of letting someone vent works when anyone is emotionally charges. It is necessary dumping that you will not want to interrupt.Listen and empathize.Then once the venting slows, be supportive in understanding its source, and lead the conversation to problem solving
SS19: Learn to negotiate using your principles not your emotions.
SS20: When you need to use a negative word. Find a foreign soft language equivalent. Use it with firmness and smile and when it has the required effect. Examples: Russian-Nyet-No, German-Verboten-Forbidden, Italian-Stupido-Stupid, or you may use the funny Turkish language we arabs use like “Akl Mafeesh, etc”
Now it is your turn ladies, create your skirt strategies, or use these as you wish but always strive to be someone’s role model.
Riham Abu Elinin is a Mother, Angel Investor, and BznsBuilder. Don’t forget to check her website